Should I Stay, Or Should I Go?
by angel-death-dealer
Summary: Merder oneshot. Derek is taking a year out to sort out his life. Meredith doesn't take the news very well. Will a lot of alcohol and a leaving party change his mind about leaving for Florida?


**Okay, I'll warn you like I normally do. I've only seen up to the episode where Derek's deciding whether or not to sign the divorce papers. In this, he didn't, but he also didn't get back together with Meredith. **

All around him, people were dressed in suits and dresses. He hadn't expected it to be so elegant, and when leaving the house, he had felt extremely overdressed in his tux. Now, though, he felt quiet scraggy in comparison to the other doctors. Especially seeing as he had grabbed the first tux he had reached in his wardrobe, and everyone else had taken their finest. He imagined that most of the women had used this as a shopping excuse.

He hadn't expected it to be such a big party. His going away party. He'd been overworking things a bit, and the Chief had suggested that he take a year out, to relax and get back on his feet properly. It wasn't the money, it wasn't the hospital. It was her. She had made the decision for him. He had tried to talk to her civilly, and she had told him that she hadn't cared whether he was there or not.

Now, he was all packed, and leaving for a cabin on the outskirts of Florida. It had been one that his family owned, and were giving to him to live in for the year. It would be easy enough - no bills, no expenses, just food. He could easily get by. It would be camping all over again.

He didn't want to leave her.

Meredith.

She was what had made him overwork; taking long surgeries in the hope of being assigned his favourite intern, or just for a chance to see her in the corridors. They hadn't talked properly since she had told him she was in love with him. He had signed the papers, like she had asked him to, but when he had taken so long to do it, that Joe's had shut for the evening when he went to meet her, Meredith had told him that it wasn't enough, and that it wasn't worth the pain of shattered expectations to be with him.

He kept looking around him, trying to spot her. He finally saw her with Izzie and George, sitting over at one of the tables. From what Cristina had warned him about earlier, she had been drinking for pretty much the entire party. Tequila. Usually, when she drank tequila, she had a habit of sleeping with inappropriate men.

Had he been one of them or something more? He liked to think the latter.

He approached the table, not prepared to leave Seattle until he had a chance to speak to her. The fact that she was drunk might be easier, at least she wouldn't be able to lie to him then.

"Hey." He said, as he approached the trio at the table.

Meredith was looking beautiful tonight, he noted, in a pale blue dress which accented her eyes wonderfully. She had been giggling insanely with Izzie over something until she saw him approaching, and instantly stiffened, ignoring his presence.

"Hey." Izzie smiled back at him.

"I was just wondering whether I might be able to steal Meredith for a dance." He asked casually, placing his hand on the back of her chair and waiting for an answer.

Izzie and George looked at each other, and then at Meredith, who had turned her head away from Derek's body and was concentrating on staring at her wine glass. Great, wine and tequila from earlier. Not a good combination. Izzie returned her gaze to Derek. "No offence, Dr Shephard, but I don't even think she can stand up right at the moment, let alone dance."

Derek nodded, understanding, but still a little disappointed. Meredith dancing with him probably would have given him a reason to stay. He stared down at her as she lifted her wine glass to her lips and drank some more. "You tried taking that off her?" He asked the others, seeing as Meredith was ignoring him completely.

George looked at him like he was insane. "Are you mental? You try it!" He practically squealed. "She nearly broke my hand!"

"Big baby." Izzie murmered under her breath.

Derek laughed, and chose to sit down opposite Meredith, beside George. "Man, I'm gonna miss you guys and you're arguing." He said with a bittersweet smile.

"We'll still be here when you get back." Izzie assured him. "Hopefully."

"Where are you headed off to for your break?" George asked him.

Derek was about to answer, but Meredith chose this moment to break her vow of silence. "He's going to Florida. You know, that place that's hours away from here." She answered for him.

Derek nodded. "Yeah, my family's got a cabin down there, so I'm heading that way for a while."

"He's just leaving." Meredith continued, as if Derek had never answered. "It doesn't matter that he's spent ages for us to be his friends. It doesn't matter what we've all become family to each other. It doesn't matter than no one else is leaving. It doesn't even matter that I'm still in love with him. He's just going to piss off out to Florida."

She quickly downed the rest of her wine, and stood up from her seat. Staggering slightly, Izzie reached up an arm to steady her, but Meredith shook her head. "I'm okay...need more wine."

She stalked off towards the bar, nearly falling over in the process. George looked at Derek, who was staring at Meredith's retreating form in shock.

"Did...she...just..."

"Say she's in love with you? Yeah." George finished for him.

"She's been saying it all night." Izzie complained.

"Ever since she hit the third tequila shot." George agreed.

"You know what they say about a drunk woman's words..."

"A sober girl's thoughts." George finished.

Derek, however, hadn't heard a word of their exchange. "She loves me." He murmered to himself.

"Yeah, that's the basic idea." Izzie nodded.

"She really does." He muttered.

Geroge looked between Meredith and the wine, and Derek. "You gonna go after her, or what?" He asked, when Derek didn't move a muscle.

"I'm gonna go after her." He mumbled, getting up from the table and going towards Meredith.

-----------------

Meredith saw him approaching, and swore to herself. What had she gone and said that for? The idea behind not telling him was that he'd disappear for a while, and when he came back, she'd be completely over him. However, now he was walking towards her, and she went to tell him that she was lying about what she said.

She hadn't even had a chance to form the words when he was before her, and her lips were covering his. It was a fiery kiss, and a rather sloppy one, considering she was so drunk. She could feel every ounce of his passion for her flooding through their kiss, and for a moment, she felt like she was where she belonged.

For a moment.

When they broke apart for air, ignoring the stares of the other doctors around them who quickly went back to their dancing, Meredith hit him on the chest. Of course, she meant it to be hard, but her tiny ineffectual fists didn't even hurt him in the slightest.

Still though, she had hit him. "What was that for?" He asked her unfairly. He'd gotten the impression that she'd enjoyed the kiss as much as he did.

She looked at him with drunken annoyance. "If you think you can just come kiss me and that will make everything all right again, you're sadly mistaken, mister." She said, poking her finger into his chest.

"That's 'doctor' to you." He told her with his McDreamy smile.

"Oh, get off your white horse." She told him, trying to walk around him.

Before he could get away from her, he lightly grabbed her arm, and pulled her close to him. "Come with me." He whispered to her.

"What?" She asked him, confused.

"To Florida, to the cabin. Come with me." He repeated.

She seemed to be falling for him all over again, and that made things even worse for her, because there was a part of her that wanted to go with him, and that part of her had the most control at the moment. She managed to get some control of her thoughts though. "Derek...I can't." She told him.

"Yes, you can." He nodded. "I love you too.

"No, I mean, I can't." She explained to him, forgetting that he had just told her that he loved her. "My internship...I can't just drop the programme."

"Then I'll stay." Derek decided quickly.

"But you wanted to leave."

"That's before I knew you loved me." He told her, passion radiating from his eyes. "I can't leave you behind." He said, bringing his face closer to hers so that his lips were grazing the skin on her forehead.

"So...you're gonna stay here...with me?" She asked him.

He nodded against her. "Yeah."

"And...you love me too?" She asked, his words finally registering in her mind.

"Yeah, I love you too." He smiled at her.

Meredith thought for a second, hoping to God that this wasn't the tequila making her decision for her. Then she stepped back from him. "I gotta go tell Cristina, she's not gonna believe this." She said like an excited teenager.

"Something tells me she might." Derek whispered, leaning back in to kiss her again. He kissed her passionately, making her so weak in the knees that she went limp in his arms. "Let's get out of here." He suggested.

"Why, are we going to do something wild in my bedroom?" She asked him seductively.

Derek grinned at the idea, but knew that they didn't need another drunken mistake to mark the start of a new relationship. "It depends whether we can sober you up or not." He told her.

She pouted at him. "But I wanna do something wild!" She moaned.

"Okay." He said, giving into her pout. "But only once you're sober, deal?"

"Deal." She agreed quickly, setting down her wine glass. "Now, I gotta go find Cristina." She said, staggering across the room to where Cristina was dancing with Burke.

She practically ripped her friend from her boyfriend's arms, and loudly told her that Derek was in love with her and staying with her. Cristina shouted loudly back and they both started screaming and jumping up and down. Cristina, clearly, had been drinking a lot as well.

Derek shook his head, laughing slightly to himself. "You're not going to believe this in the morning." He murmered.


End file.
